So, uh, let me get this straight, Mr. Man who has called me twice this morning in the span of 30 minutes:
You want me to look up something that you can totally look up on your own RIGHT NOW, because I know you're using your laptop. You just sent me an email, so you can't try to lie and say you are not using said laptop. I can see you in my mind's eye, drinking whatever bullshit drink you drink in the morning that isn't coffee and thinking "hey, I'll call this girl because I'm a total dick and she'll be skerred of me." Ha. You obviously haven't met me, asshat.
Furthermore, you already sent me that email 3 days ago. No, I'm not opening it, genius. It only tells me more irrelevant information that you will need, not I.
Let's put this little gem of a conversation to bed right now, you worthless, shiftless, "I-enjoy-making-others-do-my-work" bastard: Just No. I am not doing this thing for you. If you haven't learned how to use the system, that is not my problem. Here, let me tell you how real quick, it's eeeeeeeeaaasssssyyyy.
Had you actually spent the amount of time you spent dialing the phone looking up this information on your own instead, you would have a) found out said info all by your wittle self and b) not had to deal with the fact that I have no time for your lazy ass.
Internal customers: I am indeed friendly when you attempt. But let me clue you in to a little idiosyncrasy of mine. You have to actually make an effort or, you know, endure and suffer through the conversation you are about to have with me. FYI, bee tee dubs, totes cereal. Suck it up and makey your fingers do some workey.
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